Tag Archives: perspective

Any value from experiences?

7 Nov

Burning my stomach with vegetable curry in Indore (India), getting stuffed by a huge steak & cheese cake in Nashville (US), falling half-asleep during shoulder massage in Bangkok (Thailand), sweating in sauna in Kerava (Finland), searching for the perfect real ale in Cambridge (UK)… the past four weeks have been busy, and satisfying.

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Planning your career, asking your inner grandpa

21 Sep

My wife is considering a career change, and is thus discussing this topic with many important people in her life. The interesting thing about the opinions she receives, is that the advice is usually tightly connected with the personality of the person. People tend to give advice that they would like to hear themselves. The question is; whose perspective to listen, as all of them are correct in some sense… Continue reading

‘Swimming’ with the flow…

6 Dec

As some of you know, I am a passionate swimmer. I have been swimming competitively for 8 years since I was 10, which meant 3 hours a day commitment. Swimming was and still is one of my big teachers and helps me to grow as a person. Though today I swim more just to keep in shape, it still is a big part of my life…

As I was swimming today I thought to share something with you. Swimming is a very particular sport where the most powerful outcome is achieved when you marry your power and desire to swim as fast as you can with the flow of the water. One of my swimming coaches used to say that swimming is like a ‘dance in the water’.

This applies to many sports but especially in swimming, simply wanting to go faster and putting all your energy into it is not enough. What is necessary is to put all your energy but at the same time ‘blend’ with the water, do the right moves at the right time. If you do them too quickly, it actually makes you go slower, if you do them too slow you don’t get the optimum glide in the water. For all you aspiring swimmers, I can’t fully explain how to do this, but your body knows how, trust me. It knows exactly what is the right speed, right moves and how to use best what the water already offers…

I find this a powerful metaphor for achieving things in my life. I often hear around me ‘You can manifest anything that you want, all is in your power’. On the other side I also hear, ‘You need to let go and fully surrender to what needs to happen’. How about both? Like in swimming, can we put all our energy, efforts, dreams and aspirations to ‘create’ our reality, while at the same time ‘blend’ with what is waiting to happen, what is flowing around us like the water? Can we harmonize our intentions with what is most needed to happen at this point of time? For us, our communities and the world alike? Where else can this principle help us as we look around our World(s)?

Recently, I have moved countries and one of the things I struggle with at the moment is looking for an appartment, the right place for me to live for next few years, the place that would make my ‘soul’ sing. The same principle applies here, after 3 weeks of tireless browsing, looking and visiting appartments, I have learned that it is not ‘only’ in my power to find this place. No matter how many hours I spent looking for it, no matter how much I want it as soon as possible, no matter how much I can get frustrated that I did not find it yet… No matter what, I also need to wait for the appartment to appear. This does not mean giving up, this means looking as I do and increasing chances I will see it when it appears, but at the same time allowing things to take time and providing I know what I am looking for, to be patient until it appears…

What do you think? Which situation are you facing right now that would benefit from this approach?

Like this I believe we can ‘swim’ with the flow of evolution unfolding around us and achieve flawless elegance in how we live our lives. Good luck in all your ‘swims’…

Becoming real

13 Oct

What does it actually mean to live a life of purpose?

Many times, we are frustrated by things that happen around us – maybe a plan did not work out, people around us don’t react the way we expect them to, all the effort we have invested in reaching a goal – just to find out once we reached it, that the imagined reward of final happiness is not coming.
Why is that?
It might be, that your goal was not real.
When growing up, we were socialized, which means that we learned the “right” way to behave. Do this, don’t do that, sit still at the table etc.
Don’t get me wrong – learning these rules is important to integrate and to become an accepted part of your family, your tribe, your society. The problem is: by the time we have grown up, all we focus on is – “gosh – what am I supposed to do now, what is the “right” way – what do people expect from me?”
Maybe some people – but does not apply to you? Yes it does,
even to you! Most of the time you think about what you think others expect from you. Don’t agree? You always do what you really want to? Wrong! You are just not even conscious about it. Want a proof? Imagine you have to do the following:
– Sing a song while on an elevator with people you dont know.
Sounds easy? Well – try it! And sing loud! Next task:
– Go shopping without a t-shirt – naked belly as you were created.
– Try picking your nose in a crowded restaurant.
If any of these examples sounded like a stupid idea to you:
Why is that? Definitely not because of natural laws. The thought of doing it is uncomfortable because we were taught differently. And that’s ok. I dont want sweaty bellies around me when I take my girlfriend to a restaurant either.
The problem is: We usually do not stop thinking about others’ expectations when we definitely should. When it is about our own future, our own decisions. What should I do after college? Which job should I apply to? Should I ask the girl I like to go out with me? Should I get divorced after 20 years because the love is not there anymore?
The key thought – too often – is: What will the others think?
Why is that? Because it is easy. You need a point of reference for your decisions. So why not take the people around you, the ones you care about and you care for?
After all, you should be able to trust them. Have to make a decision? Allright – base it on what Peter and Susan would think about you when you make your choice.
Nice idea – but it does not work. Why? Because you will never know what they would really think. You can only imagine what they would think. Even if you ask them: They might only tell you what they think you expect them to tell you. Or you are lucky and they tell you their most intimate honest thoughts about it. but even then: they still have to imagine how they would react if you actually really followed through with your decision.
What to do? Find a new point of reference.
Find yourself.
Dive deep into discovering what really matters to you. What is it deep inside you that makes you respect other people? What makes you cry? What makes you deeply moved or laugh with joy? What are your true inner values? Can they act as the anchor of your decisions?
What happened if you evaluated every important decision based on how close it is to what is really important to you?
How real would that feel like?
Would you become an outcast from society? Or would people secretly admire you for standing out from the crowd? Maybe some others would resent you for it. But one thing would be for certain: When standing in front of the mirror, you can look into your own eyes and say: “It was the right decision”. Focussing on your core values can give you that.

Don’t think it will make your life more easy. But you can make it more real.

Be one drop

6 Sep

When speaking to scientists and reading about the forecasts of the challenges of the coming decades, sometimes I get really scared.

Climate Change, Peak oil, Asia with a potential of growing a middle class of an extra one Billion people who want to eat meat, drive cars and increase their standard of living are some of the things that will stretch our resources to an extend that this planet cannot provide for. Solutions are needed, and they need to come from all members of society. Politics, Biz, NGO – but the question is: what can we do?

Can I – as one single person – do anything at all? Whats the point, regarding the overwhelming challenges?

Yesterday I heard a beautiful song.

One verse would translate to English like this:

“If you help one person in need,

Then you are one drop in the rain that turns deserts into gardens.”

What a powerful message! Be one drop.

One drop is not very much when it is raining. Whats the difference one drop makes after all?

If raindrops could think: What would happen if one drop said – i don’t matter anyways. What if the other drops thought the same?

Without all the many “one drops” – there would be no rain at all.

At one point, this one drop came to life and poured itself – and with that became part of the raincloud that turns a desert into a garden

Which drop do you want to be?

Which Desert do you want to help turning into a garden?

Be one drop.