An almost comfortable way to establish healthy habits

After the last post, you might have started thinking about creating your own habits as well.

Living your life supported by healithy habits might make all the difference you need to become more conscious in your choices, more energized every day and more powerful following your calling.

However, it does not come overnight.

Habits are like a little plant that needs to be grown. nurtured and sometimes re-planted. Establishing new habits is a long and a bumpy road. But tell you what: there are many ways to actually enjoy a bumpy road as well.

When you decide to start building your healthy habits: be prepared that there might be fall backs. Don’t get discouraged by these fall backs – accept them as part of the way.

How do habits work?

You might have experienced how hard it is to get rid of an unhealthy habit – to stop smoking, stop playing browser games, reading news all the time, unconscious TV watching and so on…

Habits are powerful.

Becoming real

What does it actually mean to live a life of purpose?

Many times, we are frustrated by things that happen around us – maybe a plan did not work out, people around us don’t react the way we expect them to, all the effort we have invested in reaching a goal – just to find out once we reached it, that the imagined reward of final happiness is not coming.
Why is that?
It might be, that your goal was not real.
When growing up, we were socialized, which means that we learned the “right” way to behave. Do this, don’t do that, sit still at the table etc.
Don’t get me wrong – learning these rules is important to integrate and to become an accepted part of your family, your tribe, your society. The problem is: by the time we have grown up, all we focus on is – “gosh – what am I supposed to do now, what is the “right” way – what do people expect from me?”
Maybe some people – but does not apply to you? Yes it does,
even to you! Most of the time you think about what you think others expect from you. Don’t agree? You always do what you really want to? Wrong! You are just not even conscious about it. Want a proof? Imagine you have to do the following:
– Sing a song while on an elevator with people you dont know.
Sounds easy? Well – try it! And sing loud! Next task:
– Go shopping without a t-shirt – naked belly as you were created.
Or:
– Try picking your nose in a crowded restaurant.
If any of these examples sounded like a stupid idea to you:
Why is that? Definitely not because of natural laws. The thought of doing it is uncomfortable because we were taught differently. And that’s ok. I dont want sweaty bellies around me when I take my girlfriend to a restaurant either.
The problem is: We usually do not stop thinking about others’ expectations when we definitely should. When it is about our own future, our own decisions. What should I do after college? Which job should I apply to? Should I ask the girl I like to go out with me? Should I get divorced after 20 years because the love is not there anymore?
The key thought – too often – is: What will the others think?
Why is that? Because it is easy. You need a point of reference for your decisions. So why not take the people around you, the ones you care about and you care for?
After all, you should be able to trust them. Have to make a decision? Allright – base it on what Peter and Susan would think about you when you make your choice.
Nice idea – but it does not work. Why? Because you will never know what they would really think. You can only imagine what they would think. Even if you ask them: They might only tell you what they think you expect them to tell you. Or you are lucky and they tell you their most intimate honest thoughts about it. but even then: they still have to imagine how they would react if you actually really followed through with your decision.
What to do? Find a new point of reference.
Find yourself.
Dive deep into discovering what really matters to you. What is it deep inside you that makes you respect other people? What makes you cry? What makes you deeply moved or laugh with joy? What are your true inner values? Can they act as the anchor of your decisions?
What happened if you evaluated every important decision based on how close it is to what is really important to you?
How real would that feel like?
Would you become an outcast from society? Or would people secretly admire you for standing out from the crowd? Maybe some others would resent you for it. But one thing would be for certain: When standing in front of the mirror, you can look into your own eyes and say: “It was the right decision”. Focussing on your core values can give you that.

Don’t think it will make your life more easy. But you can make it more real.

the magic of slow

My girlfriend and I had bought some stuff at a swedish furniture shop and now had to bring it home – usually 130km on the highway – but this time we chose the slow roads.

Why would we waste 2 hours of our lifetime by not taking the quicker way?

Let me tell you what happened:
Off the highway, we could drive along the rhine and through villages. We saw a dozen castles along the journey which included a piece which is considered world heritage. Had a stop now and then to take a picture, breathe some fresh air, curass a cat which was sitting on a wall in a village, to sit in the sun and enjoy the view on the rhine valley.

This time, the 70-minutes trip took us more than 3 hours.
Did we waste 2 hours?
Maybe not. We swapped 70 minutes of monotone driving, following the tin worm rolling on 3-lane concrete to a 3hour experience of beauty, sunshine, fresh air through open windows. 3 hours of freedom, holiday, joy. Not a single minute felt like “I have to drive quicker to get over it”.
This time we chose to take a different route.
This time, we took the slow road.
This time we saved 70 minutes.

Whenever trying to save some time, the experience of the doing becomes a hassle, something you have to do, something annoying. Rather than trying to find a way to get over with it quickly – find a way to make it become a worthwhile experience of it’s own.
Having to take a bus that is usually overcrowded? Why not try taking a walk and re-experience the streets you only saw through windows until now!
Having to change a flight in some city? Why not ask for a one-day stopover and discover the nightlife of a new place!
Having to buy groceries in the ugly mass-production supermarket?
Why not go to the market this time, have a chat with the producers and rediscover the wonders of life!

Whenever you try to save some time by moving quicker – stop: to think. How can I do what I am about to do in such a wonderful way, that it will not feel like taking any of my time at all!

Be one drop

When speaking to scientists and reading about the forecasts of the challenges of the coming decades, sometimes I get really scared.

Climate Change, Peak oil, Asia with a potential of growing a middle class of an extra one Billion people who want to eat meat, drive cars and increase their standard of living are some of the things that will stretch our resources to an extend that this planet cannot provide for. Solutions are needed, and they need to come from all members of society. Politics, Biz, NGO – but the question is: what can we do?

Can I – as one single person – do anything at all? Whats the point, regarding the overwhelming challenges?

Yesterday I heard a beautiful song.

One verse would translate to English like this:

“If you help one person in need,

Then you are one drop in the rain that turns deserts into gardens.”

What a powerful message! Be one drop.

One drop is not very much when it is raining. Whats the difference one drop makes after all?

If raindrops could think: What would happen if one drop said – i don’t matter anyways. What if the other drops thought the same?

Without all the many “one drops” – there would be no rain at all.

At one point, this one drop came to life and poured itself – and with that became part of the raincloud that turns a desert into a garden

Which drop do you want to be?

Which Desert do you want to help turning into a garden?

Be one drop.

Making the ordinary special

Today I brought a little parcel to a shop in my part of town in order to ship it with Hermes, a competitor to the yellow three-letter giant (where I had just refused to queue in a line of 10 people waiting to be served by three grumpy shop assistants).

Hermes’ concept: they give licences to little shops in the area and they do the check in, so Hermes only needs to go there and pick them up and then delivers them. Takes a day longer but is cheaper as well.

But what I really loved about that Kiosk is the people working there.

I entered and was greeted with a friendly “hello”, the shop assistant just came over from the other counter where he had had a chat with the owner of the connected cafe, welcomed me with a bright smile and asked what he could do for me. We had some small jokes, he was friendly and cheerful, accepted my package and scanned the labels I had printed at home. As a farewell gift he gave me a dozen of A4 stickers ready to put into my printer so I would have less hassle the next time I wanted to ship something. I will definitely do it there.

Never felt so special about sending a simple parcel.

Its little things that make a day be a great day – the owners of that Kiosk definitely contribute to many beautiful days for many people.

Thanks for an excellent customer experience coming from the heart.